I should have known this morning it was going to be one of those days.
Some Canada geese fly over West Cottage each morning on their way to the Thames. This morning there were three flocks absolutely determined to wake me up by 5:30. It was the third flock what done it. A lovely acapella of 20 or more honks and then, a lone, tone-deaf goose bringing up the rear some distance behind the rest, honking/screeching pitifully. Do you ever have those mornings where you feel yourself slipping back into zombie-land and then some noise rolls the blinds up on your brain in that thunderous way where the blinds keeps on rolling after they’ve reached the top? Yeah, that was what happened.
Today was going to be the day to visit the scrap yard to see if I could find some interesting bits for sculpture. I was imagining Steampunk fish made with bits of found machinery…as you do…and I found the most wonderful poetry-under-glass light bulbs, some dragonfly bodies (AKA pipe holders), some old tags and a kind of metal cylinder which will most likely end up holding a poem. (Oh, I know, but it’s working in my head. I’ll show you very soon) Anyway, the sky darkened and within 2 minutes it started bucketing it down. Big, big fat rain. Good old English weather. Everything was beyond drenched in 30 seconds and I had to drive off.
So most of you probably know that gas (petrol) is really expensive in England. My mini is so great to drive but, across Oxfordshire, it’s best to drive the Astra. The Astra uses LPG, (Liquid Petroleum Gas), which is much more sensible, but there are only a few stations that dispense it. Eventually I had to go gas up.
Let me describe the process.
First take off the gas cap and put it on the driver’s seat. (Safety precaution. There have been way too many gas caps left behind on top of the pump.) Then take the nozzle out from its holder, align the bayonet fittings, twist the nozzle 45% clockwise and pull the handle till an airtight lock happens. Then lean against the big red button on the pump with your shoulder to dispense the LPG. Make sure your arms are crossed and you’re wearing your shades because if you got this far thru the ordeal you’re dead cool.
When the maximum amount of LGP has been delivered the pump will stop and now you need to summon all your strength. Look away, take a deep breath…hold it… and bravely push the handle to break the air lock. Instantly, a huge puff of stinky LPG will escape at high pressure freezing your hand and making a scary sound like…like…like that huge serpent on Harry Potter turned into a cobra spitting at full venom. Collect yourself and go pay for the LPG.
Sit on the gas cap. Swear.
There’s nothing for a day like this. Got fish and chips. I’m a sensible girl after all.