Back to Top

Sunday whirl…warning…this is a dark one

The words from this Sunday Whirl led me to a very dark ocean.

humility relish trigger swells flicks chain crack brittle spray gravity plant claim refrain

carrying an iron chain in my hands
wandering in silence on a rainy beach
among the sand, the shells, the pebbles
I step closer to the green swells
imbued with humility
silent and sad

I look around to see others
alone on the beach
wandering with chains
the chains that they claim

they will wander the beach
and carry their chains
like me
just like me
until a trigger sends them closer to the swells
silent and sad

and they will drift away from me
drift in a dream
drift away and sink
sink in silence
and they will fade
and their gaze will fade from my memory

I expect I will wander this beach
I will feel the crack and weight of this chain
I will relish the green swells
I will not refrain
and I will drift away and sink in silence

oceans away a small wave flicks a brittle chain
gravity brings it down to earth
to plant it in the sand with the shells and pebbles


Showed the words to R and he dictated this:

I relish the trigger of creative spray which swells my mind and flicks the brittle crackling chains constraining my thought allowing me in my humility to refrain from mediocrity, I am not a plant, I claim my right to think.

Spontaneously and in 20 seconds! Great work!

Comments: 22

  • July 16, 2012

    Veronica!! It may be dark but it holds such meaning…I love the image and I get that people can drag around their sadness until their eventually drowned by them but that it’s a choice. This is a very thought provoking piece. Well done my friend!!

  • July 16, 2012

    Brilliant, Veronica. I don’t mind dark at all, personally. I’d rather ‘read’ dark than have to live it. Love the poem.

  • July 16, 2012

    Veronica, I enjoyed this poem really a lot! The weather is so steaming hot here, that it was a shock for me to be transported to a rainy, deserted beach, but I loved the imagery, the silent dragging of chains and the despair hanging on the entire picture. I’m always one for despair 😉
    Thanks for sharing!

  • July 16, 2012

    I love dark, Veronica. Very moving and a great use of imagery.

  • Muddy Kinzer

    July 16, 2012

    I definitely have a moody side and this appealed to it! I loved it…great story with a great mood & the imagery was great too! Now I’m off to learn to use words other than “great”!

  • July 16, 2012

    Not afraid of the dark any more than I fear the light. But choices are not always as easy to make as they sometimes appear. Most chains are not of our own construction, how we interact with them is more controllable, I’m thinking. And that is the point of the piece, is it not? To get us all thinking? Was it Thich Nhat Hanh that said he didn’t want to live in a world without suffering because it would necessarily be a world without compassion.

  • July 16, 2012

    Loved the repetition and looping to carry the mood. The poem may be sad but the mood weaves through like a motif and is fun to follow. I completely forgot this is a wordle poem.

  • July 16, 2012

    Veronica, I like the shape of the poem; the centering makes it fluid and really suits its cycles and repetition. Lovely (though dark) images, but dark doesn’t bother me. Nice poem!

  • July 17, 2012

    R even sounds like you! I like his take and it does complete the poem, doesn’t it?

  • July 17, 2012

    What great images of sadness and negativity dragging around with us and eventually dragging us in and down. Good stuff, not dark at all, just reality. Congrats to Robert too.

  • July 18, 2012

    I’m always one to enjoy a dark write. thanks… R is feeding your muse well. Eat up! LoL

    Thanks for whirling with us!

  • July 25, 2012

    While on land this reminds me of Ghost Ships…those souls seemingly unable to be freed until they find replacements. We need dark to see light. A dream adventure…and apropos as today I was swimming in the Atlantic!

    Thank you for your kind words and visit.

Leave a Reply