A Sunday whirl…finally had some time to write

February 24, 2013

I couldn’t find a truly representational piece of art work this morning and also I’m running out of time to post, so I’m going with this lovely, atmospheric bit of sky. If later I manage to find/create/alter one I’ll add it to the post.

Thank you Brenda for the lovely words to play with.

104 copy

discipline, pieces, stealing, heroic, moment, fly,
prophets, limits, gazing, patience, tears, sublime

The air is thick this morning.

She stumbles to the window to slide it open it and to hear the rain and traps a fly between the panes and gets lost for a while in the frantic buzzing.

She walks down the carpet to the cold tiles and stands in front of the mirror with her eyes fighting hard, stealing focused glances.

She dresses and collects herself and the pieces of paper representing her week’s discipline in a garbage bag, steps out and feels the rain hit her face as she walks thru the city.

She shortcuts across the grass focusing carefully on each trampled blade and smacks her elbow into the elbow of a stranger passing by.

Her bundle falls to the ground; a sketch peeking out from the black plastic bag.

The startled man turns and stares at it; a night scene of a country church.

He sniffs his patience away and makes a heroic gesture of wanting to help from under his umbrella.

The rain is mercilessly editing the art work, stretching the limits of charcoal, quickly twisting the cross on the steeple and blurring the stars.

She stands in the rain gazing at the paper and willing the man out of existence.

In this moment she sees, and her tears mingle with the rain. The man’s shadow disappears behind her.

And it happens just like that, not in the blink of an eye, maybe a blink and a quarter, maybe a blink and a half.

He doesn’t see it, no one does; the sublime twists on the paper.

She slowly pulls on a corner of the plastic bag and exposes all the paper to the rain.

Somewhere up high the prophets nod their heads in silence.

This is what they wanted to say.

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  • Reply Robert Burnett February 24, 2013 at 10:48 am


    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 3:04 pm

      Thank you robbie. X

  • Reply Stan Ski February 24, 2013 at 11:19 am

    And they say it every morning…

    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      Yeah Stan, and they won’t shut up either… 🙂

  • Reply Catherine Llewellyn February 24, 2013 at 12:24 pm

    wow too

    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 3:04 pm

      Thank you Catherine. XXX Love to you

  • Reply peggygoetz February 24, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    Wow what a wonderful creation from the wordle words! Very original. And thank you for visiting my blog an commenting.

    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 3:03 pm

      Thank you so much Peggy. I think I’m really finding my grove with this particular style. Don’t you love it when something clicks? I loved visiting your site. Have you read thru the other whirls? Aren’t they fantastic? 🙂

  • Reply seingraham February 24, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    This touched me and I won’t soon forget it.


    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      Hello my fellow Canadian poet Sharon. Thank you so much for your kind words. Now to check out your whirl. 🙂

  • Reply Irene February 24, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    I like the part where she held out the paper in the rain. Don’t quite know why.

    • Reply Veronica February 24, 2013 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Irene. I’m glad you liked that part. I was channeling my frustration with my own art at the moment. Sometimes, you know, the best thing I can do it is take sandpaper to my oil paintings or scrub the other mediums under water. Sometimes removing paint or just moving things around gives me a fresh perspective and saves the painting from the burn pile. This is what was in my mind when I had my “she” dump the art out of the plastic right there on the grass.

  • Reply Ann (bunnygirl) February 24, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    On the one hand, one wants to make her stop, but the talent doesn’t lie in the art, but in the artist. There will be other sketches.

    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 8:42 am

      Hi Ann, thank you so much for stopping by. So true. You should see my “burn” pile. 🙂

  • Reply oldegg February 24, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    Not every piece of artwork is art, but every piece you do, tells you more about yourself and what you are capable of. Even a little help from the rain can broaden your mind to more possibilities.

    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 7:41 am

      So true Mr. Egg. 🙂

  • Reply Pamela February 25, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Veronica, a lovely write. I am also fond of the part Irene mentioned.


    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 11:40 am

      Hi Pamela, thank you so mcuh for reading. 🙂

  • Reply JazzBumpa February 25, 2013 at 9:37 am

    I’m almost certainly over-thinking this. I see beyond frustration to futility. Did you have that in mind with the incident involving the fly? Or is that just a throw away determined by the target words? Your protagonist’s attitude toward the fly is indifference tinged with malice, reflected first in umbrella man’s hasty retreat, and again at the end by the great sky prophets’ malignant indifference to human effort – and specifically art, which pours out from the soul.

    Very effective use of the prompt. This is only the 2nd link I’ve followed, and wonder if anyone made something positive from it.


    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 11:39 am

      Hi Jazz. Robert felt the same when I read it to him. He immediately felt for the fly between the panes. That’s something I hadn’t thought of when I wrote. He suggested I rewrite to release the fly but I couldn’t see it adding to the composition. Actually, I felt the uncomfortableness of the fly, of the cold tiles of the blurry eyes, of the walk across the city as a necessary build up to the release of the art being “freed” by the rain and so freeing the heart and mind of the artist, so a release of that uncomfortable tension wasn’t something I was willing to do. (But I personally wouldn’t hurt a fly) 🙂 Thank you so very much for your thoughtful comment.

  • Reply Sara v February 25, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Wow, that is a powerful piece, Veronica! Funny how a little water can turn something we don’t like into something to salvage 🙂

    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 11:02 am

      Thank you Sara. I feel like I’m getting my own voice with these free verse whirls. It’s true. Sometimes a painting is headed for the burn pile and a little sand paper saves the canvas. 🙂

  • Reply julespaige February 25, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    Others seem to find things we didn’t intend but the words…just write themselves. The fly…I think it adds to the trapped feeling of the artist. I was thinking I hope you didn’t destroy all your art work. But then not all of what we write is reflective of our true selves. And then I read that you often try to rework your own art. Some folks who write do that by rewriting.

    I didn’t really plan all the alterations, well not consciously anyway. Thanks for your visit.

    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      Hi Jules, thanks for your wonderful comment. I don’t actually have that much of a burn pile. Usually I rework a piece of art, (unless I’m in a foul mood and then I usually put it away in a drwer or cupboard somewhere), I also write and so do know about rewrites. It’s actually so much easier to have something down somewhere, whether in paint or word, isn’t it?

      • Reply julespaige February 26, 2013 at 4:05 am

        Because I have written – well quite a bit – I tend to write it down and forget it. So it has been very nice to participate in the Whirl and get insights and opinions. It does make it a challenge when you go look for something that you want to find because you know you have it – somewhere. Weather it is a written piece or other artwork that you have hidden away. I also do small craft work. But it isn’t easy to rework already fired ployemer clay 🙂

  • Reply heidi February 25, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Wow. I was kind of heartbroken when I first read this, so I am glad that I also read the comments. The most I know about art is that watercolors are the easiest to wash off at night when my sweeties have decided to paint themselves for the day. I needed to mourn the work she did first before I could reread it and see if I saw inspiration in the rain. I did, eventually, but that first impression of sadness kind of lingered with me. I really liked this piece and thought it was a wonderful use of the wordle.

    • Reply Veronica February 25, 2013 at 6:55 pm

      Hi Heidi, I’m so glad you reread it. 🙂 Bet your little ones are so cute after they’ve painted themselves. I remember Jonathan and Kerstin, at about 2 and 4 yrs of age, getting inot my titanium white oit paint. It was all over their little faces and hands. And I had to use mineral spirits to get it off. What a mess, but one of my most favorite photographs of my children.

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