Some important letters for a random Friday

January 17, 2014

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Dear self image,

Oh you sweet, silly thing. You have this adorable idea in your head that being the international woman of mystery is sexy and sophisticated, when actually, being the international woman of mystery, means you arrive with five extra pounds and looking bedraggled like fat, fat the water rat, and feeling about as light and graceful as the plane you came on, and it’s going to take a good day for each hour of time difference before you feel normal again. So don’t go stepping on that scale and depressing yourself for at least the first week. Pretty soon you’ll feel better, (and lighter). PS. You know all of this!

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Dear cats,

I love you and want you to have the best of everything, and have really, really tried to live with your crinkly tube toy, and especially since it only cost $3 at the charity shop, but I can’t stand looking at that tacky leopard print. It reminds me of a call girl’s mini skirt, and, even if IT was cheap, I know YOU don’t want to be. So play your little hearts out…it doesn’t have long to live.

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Dear smuggled San Francisco jade plant,

What can I say? I’m so completely over the moon in love with you and your little roots and new little green shoots. Thank you or not dying in my absence. I’m sorry I couldn’t find a way to smuggle your British orchid sister to Vancouver, but then we probably would have been pushing our luck and, if I go to jail, who will admire you and write you love letters? So the best thing for you to do to say thank you for my love is to grow your little heart out. Grow for two. Glad you see things my way.

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Dear my mobile phone provider,

Stop calling me at suppertime! Stop calling me pushing your new contracts! Stop calling Chloe! Stop trying to sign me up for new options! Stop trying to explain those options when I tell you I’m busy making supper! Stop trying to argue when I say I don’t want my monthly bill to increase! Stop trying to insist that an increase of $7 will be the same as the contracts I have right now…$7!…That’s almost two Sbux chai tea lattes right there! You know what, tell me when your suppertime is and I’ll call you.

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Dear brain,

Do you see this right here, this tile? Last week you insisted you could never make something like this and this week you’re considering a series of bespoke tiles for the fireplace. How hard can it be? You can figure out how to do anything, let alone design, paint, and fire a few poxy tiles. So do myself a favour and disregard the odds against anything you ever feel like you want myself to do. Now follow your instincts, listen to inner desires, and be determined and persistent. Now chant this seventeen times/day.

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Now that I got that off my chest, I’m sharing with Nancy 😀

Rising above our marshmallow world
de-Christmas-a-fying

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25 Comments

  • Reply Deb @ Frugal Little Bungalow January 17, 2014 at 2:52 am

    All very interesting and I conferred with my cat and she wants a crinkly tube now too 🙂

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:37 am

      Oh no Deb, lol! 😀

  • Reply IcyBC January 17, 2014 at 2:58 am

    Fantastic photos!
    I can’t believe your cell phone provider kept on calling you! That has to be so annoying. Is it possible to turn off your cell during this time while you’re preparing supper?

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:37 am

      Yup, it is. The trouble is that I own both mine and C’s accounts and they call her in the middle of her lectures too. I have told them to no and to get lost. 🙂 Nicely.

  • Reply Nancy @ A Rural Journal January 17, 2014 at 3:28 am

    Can’t you just tell your cell phone company to quit calling you? We have laws in the U.S. about that ya know! 🙂
    Love the crinkly tube and I know our Jack would too — might have to make one myself!

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:33 am

      Do you really Nancy? Wish we had laws here. I hate being bugged. The trouble is that you have to answer to tell them to get lost! I must admit the cats are having a ton of fun diving into the tube and scurrying thru it. 🙂

  • Reply sarahhuizenga January 17, 2014 at 4:45 am

    Love your description of the leopard print and what you associate it with.

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:30 am

      Hi Sarah, thank you so much. I’m not a very trendy person…lol…can’t stand animal prints. 🙂

  • Reply Beth January 17, 2014 at 4:48 am

    gorgeous butterfly or is that a moth? love all the colors. your cat is too funny – looking out with one eye. precious! wonder if he has a plan? i bet so. ha. ha!! ( :

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:28 am

      Hi Beth, that was the butterfly which was hibernating in the house. We took it out after all. Morgan always has a plan…lol.

  • Reply Tina Fariss Barbour January 17, 2014 at 5:04 am

    Chase Bird would probably love the crinkly toy. But I hear you on the leopard print. The jade plant is one of my favorites. I don’t have one now, but I used to hover over mine, trying to keep it going. And I like what you wrote to your brain–Yes, you can figure out a way to do whatever you set out to do. 🙂

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:27 am

      Thank you so much Tina. 🙂 I must confess that the cats love the tube so much that I’m considering dying it black or brown or something.

  • Reply Hootin' Anni January 17, 2014 at 5:58 am

    I’ll gladly take the extra pounds to fly internationally!!! Want me to step in for you?
    As for the leopard kitty toy, that photo is purr-ecious.
    And my cellphone carrier can’t contact me…well, they can, but I have caller ID on the contacts I want to answer, and special ringtones for them as well…if I don’t see their face/and hear their ringtone…I don’t answer. LOL

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:23 am

      Lol Anni…nice work on the cell phone. Some people call and call and are so relentless that I break down and answer. The trouble here is that, since I hold both mine and C’s account, each time they feel like offering something, they call C and often she’s in school. So I told them not to contact her at all…ever! We’ll see. 🙂

  • Reply jeanne stone January 17, 2014 at 7:05 am

    Great tile and i love that Jade plant!

    • Reply Veronica January 17, 2014 at 7:18 am

      Thank you so much Jeanne, I love it too. 🙂

  • Reply woolf January 17, 2014 at 8:18 am

    hilarious.
    i’ve the hiccups now.
    i don’t even blame you.
    cheers! n?

  • Reply Rose January 17, 2014 at 8:56 am

    I always enjoy your random 5!!! I don’t know why…just they appeal to me. Love the peek-a-boo kitty shot.

  • Reply daryl January 17, 2014 at 10:02 am

    jack & harry say if you are going to toss that crinkly toy, toss it to them …

  • Reply abrianna January 18, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    Cute pic of kitty in tube. I am frustrated trying to grow stuff here…everything burns up.

    • Reply Veronica January 20, 2014 at 10:33 am

      Oh no. That’s a drag. I wonder what you can grow. Maybe some heat/dry loving plants? 🙂

  • Reply Ida P. Krause January 18, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    My eyes are starting to get heavy which means I need to get to bed but I wanted to say I enjoyed your post. I really like the cats leopard print toy, leopard print is so in! Gorgeous butterfly photo.
    I hate telemarking calls of any kind and this week I even got a scam call supposedly from Micro-Soft about our computer being infected with a virus. (I hung up) geez….don’t people have anything better to do.

    • Reply Veronica January 20, 2014 at 10:31 am

      Hi Ida, not sure what it is about leopard print but you either love it or hate it…it’s one of those things. Thank you so much for your lovely comment and I hope you had a good night’s sleep. 🙂

  • Reply Diane January 19, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    Oh, thank you so much for the laugh! i could hear myself in your words. They rang so true. Cats love what they love, they don’t care what it looks like, only if it “plays right”. Soon enough they will be bored with it and you can make it disappear. Lovely photographs!

    • Reply Veronica January 20, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Lol, I hope so Diane. Now that the weather’s a bit more clement they are finding more play things outside, (mostly in the shape of small squeaky and chirpy things), but don’t worry, they’re not like Theo, they’re all thumbs. 🙂

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