Sunday whirl…warning…this is a dark one

July 16, 2012

The words from this Sunday Whirl led me to a very darkย ocean.

humility relish trigger swells flicks chain crack brittle spray gravity plant claim refrain

carrying an iron chain in my hands
wandering in silence on a rainy beach
among the sand, the shells, the pebbles
I step closer to the green swells
imbued with humility
silent and sad

I look around to see others
alone on the beach
wandering with chains
the chains that they claim

they will wander the beach
and carry their chains
like me
just like me
until a trigger sends them closer to the swells
silent and sad

and they will drift away from me
drift in a dream
drift away and sink
sink in silence
and they will fade
and their gaze will fade from my memory

I expect I will wander this beach
I will feel the crack and weight of this chain
I will relish the green swells
I will not refrain
and I will drift away and sink in silence
….

oceans away a small wave flicks a brittle chain
gravity brings it down to earth
to plant it in the sand with the shells and pebbles

Edit:

Showed the words to R and he dictated this:

I relish the trigger of creative spray which swells my mind and flicks the brittle crackling chains constraining my thought allowing me in my humility to refrain from mediocrity, I am not a plant, I claim my right to think.

Spontaneously and in 20 seconds! Great work!

A lovely day at Royal Botanic Garden Kew...and a cup of tea
From one extreme to another

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22 Comments

  • Reply Hannah Gosselin July 16, 2012 at 3:48 am

    Veronica!! It may be dark but it holds such meaning…I love the image and I get that people can drag around their sadness until their eventually drowned by them but that it’s a choice. This is a very thought provoking piece. Well done my friend!!

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

      Thank you Hannah,
      Sometimes it feels like the best thing to do is to stop fighting the weight, doesnโ€™t it. God, I hope the sun comes out soon here in E. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Misky July 16, 2012 at 4:58 am

    Brilliant, Veronica. I don’t mind dark at all, personally. I’d rather ‘read’ dark than have to live it. Love the poem.

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

      Thank you Misky,
      Me too!!! At the moment itโ€™s dark and gloomy in OXON so Iโ€™m afraid we are living it too.:) Where are you? Do you have any sun? Iโ€™m trying to get to RBG Kew but am not feeling optimistic for sun this week.

  • Reply Mariya Koleva July 16, 2012 at 5:19 am

    Veronica, I enjoyed this poem really a lot! The weather is so steaming hot here, that it was a shock for me to be transported to a rainy, deserted beach, but I loved the imagery, the silent dragging of chains and the despair hanging on the entire picture. I’m always one for despair ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

      Oh Mariya it might be too hot but I canโ€™t imagine that right now in Oxfordshire. Write something hot and sunny for me so I can be transported too!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply April Galloway July 16, 2012 at 6:35 am

    I love dark, Veronica. Very moving and a great use of imagery.

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

      Thank you April. Sometimes I worry that I do dark too much! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Muddy Kinzer July 16, 2012 at 10:55 am

    I definitely have a moody side and this appealed to it! I loved it…great story with a great mood & the imagery was great too! Now I’m off to learn to use words other than “great”!

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

      No, no…great is great! Thank you so much. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Lara Britt July 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Not afraid of the dark any more than I fear the light. But choices are not always as easy to make as they sometimes appear. Most chains are not of our own construction, how we interact with them is more controllable, I’m thinking. And that is the point of the piece, is it not? To get us all thinking? Was it Thich Nhat Hanh that said he didn’t want to live in a world without suffering because it would necessarily be a world without compassion.

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

      Hi Lori, thank you so much. Iโ€™ve forged them link by link! Iโ€™ve got the anvil to prove it. Iโ€™m not proud of them but they are strong! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply margo roby July 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Loved the repetition and looping to carry the mood. The poem may be sad but the mood weaves through like a motif and is fun to follow. I completely forgot this is a wordle poem.

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

      Margo, thank you. Forgetting that this poem was made from forced words…THAT is the biggest compliment. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Gerry Wilson July 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    Veronica, I like the shape of the poem; the centering makes it fluid and really suits its cycles and repetition. Lovely (though dark) images, but dark doesn’t bother me. Nice poem!

    • Reply Veronica July 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

      Thank you Gerry,
      I often forget the option to play with shapes. Margo suggested it with her diamante challenge and I like it. Think I might try more shapes. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply margo roby July 17, 2012 at 7:33 am

    R even sounds like you! I like his take and it does complete the poem, doesn’t it?

  • Reply Carol Steel July 17, 2012 at 9:24 am

    What great images of sadness and negativity dragging around with us and eventually dragging us in and down. Good stuff, not dark at all, just reality. Congrats to Robert too.

    • Reply Veronica July 17, 2012 at 9:54 am

      Thank you Carol, off to check out your blog now. I’m sure we’ll be friends ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply brenda w July 18, 2012 at 3:24 am

    I’m always one to enjoy a dark write. thanks… R is feeding your muse well. Eat up! LoL

    Thanks for whirling with us!

    • Reply Veronica July 18, 2012 at 11:08 am

      Thanks Brenda, love the Sunday whirls. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply JulesPaige July 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    While on land this reminds me of Ghost Ships…those souls seemingly unable to be freed until they find replacements. We need dark to see light. A dream adventure…and apropos as today I was swimming in the Atlantic!

    Thank you for your kind words and visit.

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