Try again, fail again, fail better
November is kicking my butt!!!
It’s so far been a hard month of personal upsets and low productivity.
The weather is typical West Coast cold dampness which feels twice as cold as it says on the thermostat. Not like the dry cold of prairies or of mountains, but the right to the bone cold of the ocean which you can’t seem to insulate your body from.
Today we were at Whole Foods for a nice morning break and quietly reading the paper, having tea and we heard our first Christmas carol, Jingle Bell Rock. So, just for the record, I’m declaring winter, because I hate to think of Christmas time and fairy lights and decorations belonging to the fall. (I don’t think I would like to be an Australian and have Christmas in the summer. But then again, If I was Australian I guess I wouldn’t know any different and so would be happy with that.
This morning I read my horoscope. Do you do that? I go for weeks without thinking about horoscopes or any of that woey-woey stuff, and then my life sucks and I look for some sort of assurance that everything will work out. What’s all that about, and how ridiculous is that? No wonder they’re called soothsayers.
Today I took these photos. That’s C reading a disturbing article in today’s newspaper about the sexting; she has to do a research paper about it, which has to culminate in a modification to a curriculum to combat that problem in high schools. Wow, it’s depressing to know this exists and to know the vast problem it has become. Depressing to read about the children who have harmed themselves over this, even committed suicide, and I wish somehow there was a way to make kids realise that there is so much more to life than high school.
So it was lovely to see these children running on the beach and playing their innocent, little hearts out. And here’s something: some new stores are opening. The stores geared for ladies have sexy full window “coming soon” ads, while the men’s wear has a hand written sign on the door advertising what it will eventually be. Interesting, isn’t it? The hard “sexy, sexy woman will be you as soon as you drop in” sell vs the “oh, well, men have to shop at some point anyway, and, since they wont probably come in on an impulse brought on by the sexy, sexy, why spend the money?” sell. Boy you get jaded as soon as you start working your way thru that CMNS degree. Sometimes I wonder if life wasn’t simpler before I did it and now C is in her fourth year of the same degree. Which I encouraged her to take! What have I done?!?
So mostly I walk thru the new stores ignoring the merchandise and admiring the not-for-sale decorations and fixtures. Now I want to get a bunch of old paintings and liberate them from their supports and wallpaper a wall with them and find some shutters to put on a desk to function as a file cabinet (of sorts). How cool is that? (Wait, I have a bunch of old paintings waiting to be turned into hand bags…hmmm)
I’m very much into a “throw everything I own away and start again” mood. Maybe just put everything that’s out away and redecorate mood, because, actually, looking around, I kinda like my stuff. You know what I possibly need to do is to feng shui the hell out of the house. Sort things out, put them away, get rid of some clutter and feng shui the rest. I think possibly the problem is that I haven’t used feng shui principals here in this house, (now I’ve been here for 2.5 yrs) and, even if it’s woey-woey stuff, it makes me feel loads better.
On the positive side, because Robert is going to be really annoyed with me if I keep going on in this “gloomy and purposeless left leg of Uncle Vanya’s trousers” path, I’ve started a new map about three days ago and it’s all I want to do right now, just paint the map. It will be a couple of nuthatches and bluebells. The one bird is flying to a branch and the second is already there. I love the way these little bird descend head first. And bluebells, because I felt like bluebells, and that can’t be bad.
P.S. C is putting in a blue hair wrap in her hair with the embroidery flosses and now I want to embroider something with those yummy, rich colours.
P.P.S. There’s roast chicken for Sunday supper.
P.P.P.S. The Sunday whirl is turning out be to really dark and so I might stop writing it before it drags me down below ground and away form the bluebells. Alternately, it might be good just to get it out, over with and sleep it off.