Sunday whirl...feeling a bit lost today I think

It’s probably unfair to blame some innocent words for this melancholy mood. It’s probably me, not you.miserable, fuss, wish, go, again, interestbust, figure, prove, straight, enough, sweetHer name is Felicity – it means joyShe laughs the way she laughs and leads me inside saying, “Look. We have kittens!”And points to the basket in the corner to prove it.She makes me a drink and we sit outside and smoulder in time and the setting sun“I’ve been thinking about you a lot” she saysand I know what she’s going to tell me will be just another fairy tale like everything else in this placeAnd even though I know it’s not true I wish she would go straight to the happy endingI can feel myself sinking like lead while Felicity dances and the sun scorches her spinning stepsI’m falling softer than a snowflake into the icy pattern etched on the window of my youthThis place is batting me back and forth again like a cat playing with a mouseLaughing, threatening to swallow me wholeAnd Felicity folds her arms around me and presses her bust into my shoulder and whispers threats and shouts out loveUntil I figure the fairytale world is this place and I stand up and shake my headFelicity says, “don’t fuss” and I sit back down beside herThere’s a lot of interest in this placeI don’t know who measured it or how, but the fact is that at this altitude the stars are fracturedShining like diamonds against the velvet skyAnd me, in my small, miserable world, am sitting on the porch staring at Felicity’s sweet faceAnd I’m breathing in the hollow ache in my lungs