Funny story…well, not the part about the dead goose

September 24, 2012

Yesterday, as I sat on the beach, a “no dog” area of the beach, a small b/w French bulldog ran up to the log I was sitting next to and peed on the end. I looked around to see the owner and saw a blond “Real housewife of West Van” looking woman, with four inch heels and nails probably just as long. She gave me a scowl and went back to her texting.

How can women text with nails that long? She was trying to push the correct button with the pad of her finger while trying to curve her acrylic nails out of the way somehow. Ridiculous…just saying.

Anyway, doggie ran off to my left and right at a very funky Canada goose carcass where he proceeded to make a complete pig of himself peeing on it, rolling in it and trying to drag it away by the neck.

I watched for a while and looked back at the woman who was determined to completely ignore me, and her dog for that matter.

I got up to go and walked to her and said, “Your dog is into a pretty funky goose carcass just there.”

She said, “SH%#!!!”, and pushed passed me.
“Gucci, Gucci, Sh%#!!!”
She turned to me, “Where?”
“Just there, between the logs to your left.”
“Sh%#, Gucci, Gucci, no, bad dog!”
At this point the doggie started to growl.

Ok, I must admit to a slight smirk and a suppressed laugh.
Last I saw she was trying to pick the doggie up while actually not touching it. Wonder how that went.

Karma’s a bitch.

Linked up to TALU

A little bit of random beautiful round here
Where she goes on and on about beaches and children and red roses.

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  • Reply Sarav September 24, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Oh, howling with laughter over here! Doggies got their own sense of “Don’t I smell Lovely?” Had a lab that used to roll in dead fish when we would take her to the river–OMG gag and then some…

    • Reply Veronica September 26, 2012 at 6:22 pm

      Oh god Sara, dead fish? I had malamutes and once one got skunked! He didn’t care at all! Every seen a malamute’s coat? 🙂

  • Reply Sabra Bowers September 24, 2012 at 4:46 pm

    4 inch heels on the beach…no, no, no.

    • Reply Veronica September 26, 2012 at 6:21 pm

      I know Sabra, I know!

  • Reply julochka September 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    that was a perfect story to start my morning. happily, i had finished my tea, so i didn’t spit it on the keyboard. 🙂 totally worth the sacrifice of the goose.

    • Reply Veronica September 26, 2012 at 6:20 pm

      Julie…lol…was worth it, wasn’t it.

  • Reply Jo Ann J. A. Jordan September 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

    Oh, that must have really sucked for her, but I laughed out loud… I am glad you exited the area before the real stinky part. Hee hee.

    • Reply Veronica September 26, 2012 at 6:17 pm

      Jo Ann, I really wanted to take photos of her wrestling with the dog but…decorum…

  • Reply Robert Burnett September 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    i think the first time i heard her shout GUCCI as the name of the dog i would have suffered cardiac arrest induced convulsions of laughter ,well done for suppressing the mirth !!

    • Reply Veronica September 26, 2012 at 6:15 pm


  • Reply kenyagjohnson December 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    Ewwww. You painted that picture so well I’m hiding my smirk and suppressing a laugh while I comment back to talk about her. What a hot mess – her and the her trophy dog. LOL! ~TALU

  • Reply findingninee December 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    Gross. I love it. My dog used to hop the neighbor’s fence and roll in horse poop. That smelled bad but I’m pretty sure funky goose smells worse. And her dog’s name was Gucci? That says a lot!

  • Reply Anne Kimball December 12, 2012 at 3:31 am

    Oh, hahaha! How sublimely perfect, Veronica.
    And as an added bonus, now I know what to name my next dog!

    Acrylic nails.
    Or goose sh**.
    Definitely not Gucci.

    Thanks for linking this up with the TALU!

    • Reply Veronica December 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

      Lol, Anne! I can picture you standing on the front porch yelling, “here acrylic nails, where are you?” Love it! Thank you for hosting these fun Tuesdays; now that there’s more peace in my life I’ll have time to stop by more often. 🙂

  • Reply Sharmon Davidson April 17, 2016 at 8:14 am

    Really funny! I wish I could have seen this!
    Sharmon Davidson recently posted…Weekly Quick Collage: Golden DayMy Profile

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