The Sunday Whirl thru jet-lag
Yesterday I felt headachy and blah when I started writing the Sunday Whirl. I finished it this morning and this morning I feel much, much better, but I thought that this poem was honest and still felt right so I didn’t rewrite it. I finished it and let it stand. 🙂
pay, stains, center, bell, dimension, intrigue,
magic, only, used, avenue, answer, change
They say the best way to survive an avalanche is to swim like hell, to go with the flow or you’ll pay for it, but I’ve spent several hours going with the flow and I feel myself sinking like lead.
My head is spinning.
It might be the air, it might be the water, it might be the fact that I haven’t been back long enough to actually realise the mountains aren’t cardboard cut-outs and I can’t knock them over to smash the whole city flat, change avenue to field.
Concentrate on shadow’s circle, sunny center.
See a million leaves worship simple, becoming gold in their skin.
Simplicity in yellowing, falling, swinging down to the path, another dimension of life, age spots, brown stains fraying around the edges.
There is no right answer, no magic solution. I’m used to it.
Leaning into the headache leads nowhere so I grab some water.
Each cupped life coming in handfuls in the chop of late afternoon glare.
A dog scrabbles after a ball, scraping and scratching his nails on the path, his tags tinkling bell, then crash cymbal then only bell until he turns back.
My nails leave little half-moon marks on my wrist.
Thinking is muddy, a muddy path and the splash of a step, intrigue in the spot of sun cooking rain from the ferns.
Green ferns patient in their green, green with dna that once saw the dinosaurs stomp thru the muggy humidity.
Brontosaur of a headache.
Stegosaur, stegosaur with crash cymbals.
AND THERE the poem flops down exhausted, grateful, wishing for the headache to stomp away just to lie in the sun on the rug.
Fancy that, darling.
After all that, yes, fancy that! I like the sudden ending!
Thank you MMT. Off to have a read of yours now. 🙂
I like how you went from green to brontosaur of a headache… this is a strong write. It’s good that you are feeling better today, and I agree about the poem. It’s great the way it is. Fantastic descriptions.
Thank you Brenda. It’s always a risk for me to start on one day and end on another. You should see the scrap pile…lol. Off to read yours now. 🙂 Thank you so much for hosting.
i like it .. and i hope the headache is long gone
It is, thanks Daryl. 🙂
freaking stunning – i felt every word – speaking to that sullen sulky place in me that comes out when i have a headachy day x
Thank you Catherine. XX Maybe we should print out portions and refer to them on headachy days. 🙂
Glad you feel better today, Veronica. You have described a headache perfectly with your writing here.
Oh thank you Pamela, I thought it was a good visual of what I was feeling but I’m so glad you think so too. 🙂
How beautiful are your descriptions as you tell of your battle with that dinosaur of a headache. Particularly apt were the dabbled shadows in the photos that seemed to reflect the splashes of pain.
Thank you so much Old. Hey, can you tell me your name? Ok if you’d rather not. I love your love poetry; can’t believe I missed the last five or six weeks of whirling. 🙂
Beautiful photos, my favorite time of the year. Your descriptions are vivid and powerful, your word weaving intricate and well done. I do know those kinds of days and wouldn’t wish them on anyone. Glad to hear you are better.
Mine too Elizabeth. Absolutely enjoying every moment of this fall, even with a headache. 🙂 Thank you so much.
Gorgeous pictures and honest writing, it doesn’t get much better than that.
Thank you so much Dawn. 🙂 It always works best if it’s honest. If I try to write from a fiction I’m never as happy with the result. 🙂
Veronica, that sounded cathartic and releasing. The stomp of a headache akin to a prehistoric beast is greatly expressed! Agree with dawnsrays… it doesn’t get better. Glad you left it as you had written it.
Hi Joseph. Thank you so much. Off to read your whirl now. 🙂
Really wonderful imagery Veronica!! Your thoughts about revising/not revising mirrored mine–just let loose with a mindflow poem last week–had the same sentiment, was going to do some revising and then just decided to let it go as is–kind of a terrifying thing for me to do, but thankfully the poetic community was supportive 😉
Love the idea of a headache lying in the sun on a rug; and chop of late afternoon glare was inspired too
Sara, our poets are so nice, aren’t they?
I Iove it ! Almost as much as the alone video!!!