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Funny story…well, not the part about the dead goose


Yesterday, as I sat on the beach, a “no dog” area of the beach, a small b/w French bulldog ran up to the log I was sitting next to and peed on the end. I looked around to see the owner and saw a blond “Real housewife of West Van” looking woman, with four inch heels and nails probably just as long. She gave me a scowl and went back to her texting.

How can women text with nails that long? She was trying to push the correct button with the pad of her finger while trying to curve her acrylic nails out of the way somehow. Ridiculous…just saying.

Anyway, doggie ran off to my left and right at a very funky Canada goose carcass where he proceeded to make a complete pig of himself peeing on it, rolling in it and trying to drag it away by the neck.

I watched for a while and looked back at the woman who was determined to completely ignore me, and her dog for that matter.

I got up to go and walked to her and said, “Your dog is into a pretty funky goose carcass just there.”

She said, “SH%#!!!”, and pushed passed me.
“Gucci, Gucci, Sh%#!!!”
She turned to me, “Where?”
“Just there, between the logs to your left.”
“Sh%#, Gucci, Gucci, no, bad dog!”
At this point the doggie started to growl.

Ok, I must admit to a slight smirk and a suppressed laugh.
Last I saw she was trying to pick the doggie up while actually not touching it. Wonder how that went.

Karma’s a bitch.

Linked up to TALU

Comments: 15

  • September 24, 2012
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    Oh, howling with laughter over here! Doggies got their own sense of “Don’t I smell Lovely?” Had a lab that used to roll in dead fish when we would take her to the river–OMG gag and then some…

  • September 24, 2012
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    4 inch heels on the beach…no, no, no.

  • September 24, 2012
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    that was a perfect story to start my morning. happily, i had finished my tea, so i didn’t spit it on the keyboard. 🙂 totally worth the sacrifice of the goose.

  • September 25, 2012
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    Oh, that must have really sucked for her, but I laughed out loud… I am glad you exited the area before the real stinky part. Hee hee.

  • September 25, 2012
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    i think the first time i heard her shout GUCCI as the name of the dog i would have suffered cardiac arrest induced convulsions of laughter ,well done for suppressing the mirth !!

  • December 11, 2012
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    Ewwww. You painted that picture so well I’m hiding my smirk and suppressing a laugh while I comment back to talk about her. What a hot mess – her and the her trophy dog. LOL! ~TALU

  • findingninee

    December 11, 2012
    reply

    Gross. I love it. My dog used to hop the neighbor’s fence and roll in horse poop. That smelled bad but I’m pretty sure funky goose smells worse. And her dog’s name was Gucci? That says a lot!
    TALU

  • December 12, 2012
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    Oh, hahaha! How sublimely perfect, Veronica.
    And as an added bonus, now I know what to name my next dog!

    Acrylic nails.
    Or goose sh**.
    Definitely not Gucci.

    Thanks for linking this up with the TALU!

  • April 17, 2016
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    Really funny! I wish I could have seen this!

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